Apprehension...

Guys have almost always detested commitment, rather been petrified of the other factors that come along..Of course, knowing a nice girl and spending quality time with her is an amazing feeling to every guy, but the very thought that he will end up losing his 'freedom' and will slowly but surely be distanced from his best buddies is unnerving to say the least..Being single has its charm too..No questions asked, very little responsibility, freedom to make your own decisions without numerous evaluations, the chance to act instinctively and most of all the ability to behave naturally..

Over the last couple of years, numerous pals of mine have made the transition from being single to serious commitment. We guys have often believed that this path is fraught with dangers and risks which we might rather not face..But the question is how long can one procrastinate..? Typically for most guys, the company of his close friends is vital during his teenage and adult years..It is in this company where he gets to be himself totally without any fear of evaluation or any kind of supervision..Generally, guys tend to behave rather differently in the presence of a girl, even more so when it is the female who matters..oodles of respect, unusual periods of calm and a very consensual approach tend to characterize the behavior of most guys in such situations..The very fact that guys tend to fear the girl's temper tantrums and know for a fact that any behavior bordering on the slightly undignified will result in serious repercussions tends to put them on guard..The moment this happens, the guy can hardly be himself..

A girl most times tends to be able to move away from her friends rather easily when she gets closer to her wedding..Soon, she almost completely isolates herself from her past friends and devotes time almost exclusively to her spouse..This attitude is something that must be appreciated but the problem starts when the girl expects the guy to do the same..Men have always wanted to have their friends around and this is very much evident when one has a look at the number of friends from school and college a guy keeps in touch with over the years...Guys tend to have long term friends while girls tend to move on in life and disassociate themselves from friends at different points in life..Guys tend to drift away and need their time with friends so that they can feel better and refreshed.. They do have the tendency to get bored rather soon and if they are forced to avoid their friends and instead stay home, it can only be detrimental in the long run..

It is also vital that the couple discuss these issues early enough.. Quite often the issue of friends and hanging out with them etc is ignored as it is deemed to be trivial..But it is far from trivial..The opposing nature of the views of guys and girls when it comes to this issue will definitely ensure that they are at loggerheads sooner rather than later if they do not talk about it and try coming to an amicable solution..As in most cases, prevention is better than cure...!
Girls are very much attention seeking and will continue to demand that the boy friend/husband spend more and more time with them and this leaves him with lesser and lesser time for his interests and hobbies..A typical example would be a guy who used to play tennis or another sport everyday..post marriage this is rather impossible in most circumstances unless the girl is very understanding..Playing brought a lot of joy and made the guy feel a lot more energized earlier but now being denied the chance to do so only makes him feel rather miserable..The same applies in the case of television and the type of entertainment that the guy always loved..typically sports..Sitting up at odd hours to catch the cricket and football is no more possible and for a passionate sports lover, the worst feeling is reading the news the next day and realizing that he has missed a classic game!..There are lots of girls who are interested in sports and other typical interests that guys tend to have..Yet this is a very small percentage especially in India..But the important fact is that girls must realize guys are not the kind who can give up all their interests as easily as girls can..

Its paramount that guys understand the way girls feel about marriage and commitment..Girls need unwavering love and any kind of distraction can be misconstrued as lack of love..Guys on the other hand need their freedom and value the company of their close friends and hate to give up their love for sports etc..If this seemingly 'trivial' issue can be discussed early and a meaningful solution is reached, it augurs well for the relationship throughout..The crux of this problem undoubtedly points to the most basic difference between the psychology of a man and a woman..Resolving it is not easy but not giving it the due importance will most certainly put the future of the relationship in jeopardy..