Life has truly come full circle in the last 4 years or so..you might hear many people saying this but in my case the veracity of this statement is all too obvious..I was going through a fairly normal life of an engineering student in Bangalore when I happened to send off a friend of mine who was leaving to the 'land of opportunities' to do his MS..He wasn't the first I had known embarking on that journey but I hadn't until then given a proper thought about this path..I later did go ahead and write the all too hyped GRE exam..The univ application process followed and I was all set to join the bandwagon of guys who had made the 'career defining' decision of going to the US..I was never the one who had planned this but things just seemed to fall in place and a rather teary few days followed before I took the British Airways flight on Dec 30, 2005..
Life in the US initially was very tough and I contemplated my decision to have gotten there in the first place..Got a great set of pals and had a wonderful time..cricket, tennis and a few short trips kept me feeling good about the whole experience..The acads were never an issue and I balanced them quite well with my endless phone calls, tennis and trips..Life couldn't have been better I thought..
I was proved wrong...life just got better and better..a fantastic trip with pals to New York and the Niagara Falls was just the beginning..I made a couple of more short trips and before I knew I was ready to come to India in Dec 2006. This was something I was definitely looking forward to right from the day I left India..played lots of cricket, went out for umpteen lunches and dinners and before I knew one month had flown by and I was ready to get back..After getting back, things got a little busy with my acads and research but not once did I miss out on the usual fun that had been the sole reason I had managed to stay in the US for a year..A fiasco followed when the brilliantly planned world cup trip failed but this was compensated for when I had a great California trip which had its fair share of highs and lows though..I decided to come to India again in July 2007 and this trip was almost fully a case of visiting the doc, taking rest and recovering after my LASIK surgery..I did make a fun filled trip with friends to Tirupati and played enough cricket..I left in late Aug very much assured of the future....again how mistaken I was!
The job situation was slowly getting tougher and tougher and I also had a very bad time with some personal issues..My research and acads didn't help me relax either and things were just getting a bit shaky. I decided to move to California around Christmas and look for a job there..After all it was the Silicon Valley..where else would a job be easier to find..?..or so i thought..There were a few interviews but none materialized.I was to blame partly for refusing to be flexible and learn up stuff..but i never was interested in coding and C/C++ was never what I wanted and this was very evident in the way I approached that portion..Later, the interview calls dried up and after a lot of problems with my thesis, I was forced to make a big decision to switch to an all course degree which I did ultimately..Financially I was taking a beating and if not for my fabulous set of pals and the amazing help they were during those trying times which I can never ever forget, I would never have managed to live there for even a few months...
I tried everything from online applications, email, phone calls, contacts and even going personally to the companies but when your time is bad, there is very little you can do is what I realized..Every day was a torture and I somehow endured the many disappointing replies I got from the companies..I did get a breather when we made a couple of trips within California and luckily for me cricket and tennis kept me going..The US seemed to have absolutely everything and was tailor made for someone who was ready to spend well... I visited many a place and dined in some great restaurants. Fantastic road trips were also something I can never forget...But I was gettin an eerie feeling that the fairytale was about to end..I finally got a job but just as I thought, there was no provision for me to work in the US but instead I had to get back to India..By then I was ready to move on in life and anything was ok..The monotony of applying and rejections had changed me so much that I had decided it was all enough!..
But it wasn't all that easy to just leave and get back..Emotionally I was so attached to all the guys around me..We shared many a common interest and I more often than not seemed to be the person everybody wanted to have around when they were bored...It seemed a bit like when I left from India..I put on a brave face but beneath that I was struggling..Emotionally, financially and almost in every sense this was a major blow..The only solace was my family back in India..If not for them I surely couldn't have made this decision of getting back..
Just as everybody tends to experience a so called culture shock when they get to the US, I had a similar one when I moved to Chennai for my job..It was not the case of not having been in India long enough or having been in the US long enough, but a considerable time in the US tends to drastically change a few and a few people very subtly..I belonged to the latter category..My expectations from people, attitude, interests, way of life were different and virtually every aspect in my day to day approach to life seemed to creating a gulf between me and people around..I did have pals but everyone were in the US and the people around me in Chennai are all nice people but its just that I have not found a single person, let alone a gang that even bears a semblance to the kind of pals I had there..People might say am being foolish in expecting that but I don't think that way..I am going through the motions and its only the Bangalore trips and time with family coupled with the memories of great times in the US that keep flooding me every so often that are keeping me going..
But I ultimately do feel its all a case of justice being done..I was never the kind who wanted to be in the US and only did make a decision to go there very late and it was more of a knee jerk reaction..So it seems all too apt that I was given a brief time there and allowed to have a quite wonderful and memorable time before being brought back to the place I belong and wanted to belong..It just that Life has gone a full circle in the last few years and I have been changed ever so subtly that I am taking and am sure will take quite a while to start feeling at home again...I don't quite know what/who can help me but do pray things change for the better soon...
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