One of a kind..

All of us were taught the value of good friends and friendship during our school days. I am no exception. I listened to the saying 'A friend in need is a friend indeed' more than a hundred times till it seemed to become a cliche. A few years later, I watched Sholay, enjoyed 'Yeh Dosti' and felt there was something special about the friendship between Jai and Veeru. I read the Mahabharata dozens of times and admired the great relationship shared by Duryodhana and Karna. Furthermore, I learned and appreciated innumerable beautifully-constructed Sanskrit verses that glorified good company. But then, I wasn't quite at that stage in life where I would be able to understand and feel true friendship. Perhaps, I wasn't quite in strife to meet the 'friend in need'. I never quite knew the reason anyway. Life moved on and I was never short of a good pals. Be it near home or in school and college, I was always fortunate to know and interact with an exceptional group. When I was about to fly to the US in December 2005, my dad's advice about friends and friendship kept ringing in my ears. I continue to be inspired by his ability to maintain an extraordinarily wide circle of friends and I left India that day aiming to do the same.

I was alone, bored, homesick and frankly irritated with the whole experience of being in the US. All this well before even a month passing by after getting there. Few fellow-students were in the US in January. The vast majority had left for their vacation to India. The terrible cold and snow compounded by my inability to cook and failure to acclimatise to the new place left me wishing I should board the next flight home. It was on one such evening (perhaps Jan 20th 2006), when I looking fairly despondent, stepped into D-13, an apartment that was to change my life. I sat on the sofa with a bemused look as I was introduced to a long-haired guy who seemed to be the one everybody was talking to. I could not quite fathom why he was the object of attention. I soon realised he was just back from India (a rare event for many, but a biannual one for him). He had news to share about his trips, meetings and most of all about a girl he met. We started arguing about something I can't quite recall. It must have been a Bangalore-Chennai debate given its ability to recur with an almost unreal frequency over the years. It did not matter who won or lost the argument. I felt there was something about this guy that made my time and stay worthwhile. Nearly five years after that day, as I sit and write about it, I cannot help but feel fortunate to have met and known Deepak who is more popularly referred to as JD (pun intended).

We hit it off instantly. I had never had problems making friends anywhere but got the feeling this was something special. I started living in I-9 (his apartment) where we cooked, watched sports, debated over a plethora of topics, discussed girls, relationships and everything under the sun. I first realised how much he meant to me when I called him and cried about a major problem I was facing in the first semester. Here I was crying and seeking motivation from someone whom I had just recently met. I clearly had not made a mistake. He guided me through that tough phase with the best possible advice and encouragement. By then, he was continuously thinking about his summer visit to India. The trip by itself was nothing new for him, but this time, he was going to meet the girl he had fallen for head over heels. I remember sitting with him and poring through her email about a trip (a very long email indeed). We joked about the ability of girls to write pages without sparing a thought for the reader. I responded to the mail with Shakespeare's immortal line 'Brevity is the soul of wit'. I can't quite recall what I got in return but am fairly sure it wasn't an affirmative nod. Deepak had never quite managed to get through the Himalayan task of completing a book till then. He was blessed with a remarkable memory of dates and numbers though and it was no surprise then that he remembered the page number of an interesting portion of the only book he had dared to start reading (Kane and Abel) :). He wasn't quite going to get away easily with his girl though and was asked to complete the Godfather in 2-3 days. He read the book religiously while skipping cricket and quoted Vito Corleone on more than one occasion. Although I laughed at his predicament, I appreciated his resolve and willingness to compromise.

In the course of the next 1.5 years, we bonded like never before. I was present throughout to listen to the issues he faced in his relationship. It was a mighty struggle but he endured all the problems as only he could. It was as if nothing could perturb him. We would lie for hours on a sleeping bag in D-13 and talk. There were days when we realised we had spoken all the time till sunrise. And on more than one occasion I would continue to talk blissfully unaware that he had dozed off. He was by my side when the job hunt and interviews were not going right. When I decided to move to California in December 2007 to land a job, he saw me off at the Greyhound bus station in Lawrence. At that point, I felt a tinge of sadness because I wasn't quite sure when I would see him. It wasn't going to be too long though! He was in California in less than a month with a full-time job. We moved into a friend's place temporarily and later, to 2622 Ohlone Drive, a town house in San Jose which I can never forget.

I have often wondered how my best and worst times could have coincided. It was the case in 2008. The recession was a reality and jobs were at a premium. I tried hard but struggled to land interview calls and even when I did perform well, visa problems put paid to my chances. My grandmother's loss was a very difficult one to deal with and on that fateful day in May, as i sat in Starbucks not knowing how to react at the news of her demise, guess who was by my side? Deepak made me tide through a phase where I was considering giving up. He was at once my greatest motivator and harshest critic. He doubled up as my confidant and jester. Without him, I could not have imagined surviving 2008. I worked extremely hard to complete my Masters and there was no better person to encourage me than JD. Life was at its doldrums and he remained the rock I used throughout for support. When I had to leave the US, I felt a pain like no other. It was impossible to stay away. I came to the US in tears in 2005 and was leaving the same way. I had a fantastic friend network during my stay but my biggest gain was Deepak's acquaintance. The numerous tennis matches, the arguments, the escapades on our road trips, the humourous exchanges and most of all the confidence and motivation he had provided at various stages flashed before me as i boarded the flight back to Bangalore. Little did I know that his influence on my life had just begun.

Growing up idolising the legendary Karna, I had always wondered if there could ever be another like him. I can stick my neck out to say that Deepak comes closest. Never one to shy away from helping someone in distress, be it monetarily or through his words, Deepak made me understand the value of giving. He shunned materialistic thoughts and his ideals rubbed off on me. I had heard many episodes about how he went out of his way to help his friends and I wasn't surprised. He did the same for me and continues to help me to this date. My hand instinctively dials his number or points to his email whenever I need any favour. I have never felt the need to think twice because I know it's Deepak. My troubled times in the US led me to accrue humongous debts. If it were not for his timely help in the last few years, I would have drowned in that very sea of debts and credit loans. Even in the one year I lived in Madras, I can only recall the month I spent with him during his visit. Not a single day was boring and every minute was eventful. He was also the force behind my decision to follow my passion. He radiated positive energy always and every ounce of the confidence I have can be attributed to him.

Deepak has been everything I can ask for. He has encouraged, chided, advised, goaded and more importantly has driven me to succeed. He has been my shining light and I have only wondered how I haven't known him longer. He is THE PARADIGM when it comes to describing a great friend. I have been immensely lucky to have had him in my life and will be indebted to him always. Nithya, you are tremendously lucky yourself to have found such a jewel. I cannot help but feel that it is impossible to do justice to his great nature and qualities in one piece. But I will certainly sleep well filled with the thought that I have given him a small gift in return for all the positives I have gained (and am gaining) during my association with him. He now stands on the cusp of achieving something special. His marriage may seem a normal event to many, but I for one, have witnessed his patience and steadfastness through the trials and tribulations of the last five years. The culmination of the marriage represents a victory for me too as I would have seen my greatest pal win his toughest battle. Certainly, no one can be happier than I am!

PS: dei Deepak, you might not like me writing all this. But live with it!