Live in vs Marriage...

Yesterday was one of those rare days when I switched channels to catch something totally not sport related. I was watching a debate show I catch once a while-NDTV's 'We the people'. The topic made me sit up and listen as it has been one I have argued on and discussed about many a time of late. There is little doubt that this generation in India has embraced most of the ideas of the west and adherence to Indian culture and tradition has taken a back seat..The concept of a LIVE IN relationship has become the most controversial and debated in Indian society..Arranged marriages were most common in urban India but over the years marriage after a period of courtship, more commonly referred to as love marriage has also become extremely popular and acceptable..

Indian society has almost throughout been a perfect example of hypocrisy..It has had its flaws but tries to portray that it doesn't. The Westernization of thought started a couple of decades back and though this may not necessarily be a bad idea in most circumstances, it is definitely proving to be harmful when it comes to certain very stable aspects of our society. At the outset, I would like to clarify that I belong to the old school of thought. Morality, marriage, a stable family and ethics matter a lot to me and this is almost surely reflected in my arguments. But nevertheless, I do also understand and accept that I do need to look at the other side of the coin..

People involved in the debate were diverse..Some were in live-in relationships, some happily married, some youngsters who were not sure if marriage was necessary and some who ultimately married after being in a live in. Their perspectives were extremely interesting to say the least even if finally inconclusive..My personal take on this front is that a live in relationship more often than not is an option many highly career oriented couples choose to take..The very fact that the exit door is far more accessible in this case than in case of a marriage where one has a great deal of responsibility towards his/her spouse, the family and society also in general..In Indian society especially, divorce is still taboo despite increased divorce rates. Live in relationships provide couples with all the benefits that marriage does provide. They can enjoy emotional and physical bonding without allowing it to get in the way of their careers. Often, in many marriages, it is seen that balancing the personal and professional life becomes too big a challenge. This is more so when kids come into the picture..

Marriages on the other hand, more so in India are solemnized by a sacred oath which in most cases is a binding factor..Fights and arguments in relationships are sorted out considering the long term benefits and advantages of a stable family..Societal norms play a huge role as well in traditional Indian families when it comes to decisions in marriages..Indians find it rather difficult to accept that premarital sex is rife and that live in relationships have become quite common..Ultimately, be it live in relationships or stable marriages, what matters the most is the commitment towards the partner..Personally, I believe that seeking a live in relationship to avoid the trials that might pop up post marriage and also trying to find an easy exit in times of difficulty is sheer escapism...Innumerable examples can be given when couples have braved the odds, struggled through difficult times and brought up their children in a congenial atmosphere paving the way for their success..

Indian culture has always been respected for some of the strong values that it inculcates and it is rather unfortunate that at a time when people all over the world including the West respect the Indian approach to marriage i.e. striving for a stable relationship, most Indians especially the present generation tend to disregard the importance of the same..The sense of security and confidence that a stable marriage brings especially for the kids when they grow up should never be underestimated..

Though there is no definitive conclusion that can be sought to this debate, it is imperative to know that one must respect the choice of an individual in this case. A live in relationship might be beneficial for sometime to get to know the partner and helps iron out differences while laying out a good platform for a successful long term relationship. Misusing this form of relationship so as to derive physical pleasure while being aware that one can always exit without a second thought is wrong..I definitely hope that couples realize that marriage is not just a social obligation. It is as much a source of strength for a family as it is for society in general. The importance of unwavering commitment in any relationship is unquestionable and if marriage is the better way to strengthen the same, then it is the way to go..