Guys have almost always detested commitment, rather been petrified of the other factors that come along..Of course, knowing a nice girl and spending quality time with her is an amazing feeling to every guy, but the very thought that he will end up losing his 'freedom' and will slowly but surely be distanced from his best buddies is unnerving to say the least..Being single has its charm too..No questions asked, very little responsibility, freedom to make your own decisions without numerous evaluations, the chance to act instinctively and most of all the ability to behave naturally..
Over the last couple of years, numerous pals of mine have made the transition from being single to serious commitment. We guys have often believed that this path is fraught with dangers and risks which we might rather not face..But the question is how long can one procrastinate..? Typically for most guys, the company of his close friends is vital during his teenage and adult years..It is in this company where he gets to be himself totally without any fear of evaluation or any kind of supervision..Generally, guys tend to behave rather differently in the presence of a girl, even more so when it is the female who matters..oodles of respect, unusual periods of calm and a very consensual approach tend to characterize the behavior of most guys in such situations..The very fact that guys tend to fear the girl's temper tantrums and know for a fact that any behavior bordering on the slightly undignified will result in serious repercussions tends to put them on guard..The moment this happens, the guy can hardly be himself..
A girl most times tends to be able to move away from her friends rather easily when she gets closer to her wedding..Soon, she almost completely isolates herself from her past friends and devotes time almost exclusively to her spouse..This attitude is something that must be appreciated but the problem starts when the girl expects the guy to do the same..Men have always wanted to have their friends around and this is very much evident when one has a look at the number of friends from school and college a guy keeps in touch with over the years...Guys tend to have long term friends while girls tend to move on in life and disassociate themselves from friends at different points in life..Guys tend to drift away and need their time with friends so that they can feel better and refreshed.. They do have the tendency to get bored rather soon and if they are forced to avoid their friends and instead stay home, it can only be detrimental in the long run..
It is also vital that the couple discuss these issues early enough.. Quite often the issue of friends and hanging out with them etc is ignored as it is deemed to be trivial..But it is far from trivial..The opposing nature of the views of guys and girls when it comes to this issue will definitely ensure that they are at loggerheads sooner rather than later if they do not talk about it and try coming to an amicable solution..As in most cases, prevention is better than cure...!
Girls are very much attention seeking and will continue to demand that the boy friend/husband spend more and more time with them and this leaves him with lesser and lesser time for his interests and hobbies..A typical example would be a guy who used to play tennis or another sport everyday..post marriage this is rather impossible in most circumstances unless the girl is very understanding..Playing brought a lot of joy and made the guy feel a lot more energized earlier but now being denied the chance to do so only makes him feel rather miserable..The same applies in the case of television and the type of entertainment that the guy always loved..typically sports..Sitting up at odd hours to catch the cricket and football is no more possible and for a passionate sports lover, the worst feeling is reading the news the next day and realizing that he has missed a classic game!..There are lots of girls who are interested in sports and other typical interests that guys tend to have..Yet this is a very small percentage especially in India..But the important fact is that girls must realize guys are not the kind who can give up all their interests as easily as girls can..
Its paramount that guys understand the way girls feel about marriage and commitment..Girls need unwavering love and any kind of distraction can be misconstrued as lack of love..Guys on the other hand need their freedom and value the company of their close friends and hate to give up their love for sports etc..If this seemingly 'trivial' issue can be discussed early and a meaningful solution is reached, it augurs well for the relationship throughout..The crux of this problem undoubtedly points to the most basic difference between the psychology of a man and a woman..Resolving it is not easy but not giving it the due importance will most certainly put the future of the relationship in jeopardy..
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
What's gone missing this decade?
Monumental scores, placid tracks, Australian hegemony, a few classic contests, two of the greatest series of all time, innumerable controversies, the game changing T-20 format and the extraordinary success of the Indian Premier League come to ones mind the moment they think of this past decade in cricketing terms. It has witnessed many a great performance, exceptional batsmanship, umpiring fiascoes and most importantly the power of mammon. So one is justified in asking the question if this is simply the greatest decade in the game's history? The answer according to me is a definite NO.
A brief overview of the major events of the decade will surely help put things in perspective. The year 2001 saw Brian Lara's unparalleled domination of the great Muttiah Muralitharan in an otherwise uneven contest between Sri Lanka and West Indies. The same year also saw India meet the world champion Australian team in a classic test series at home. VVS Laxman's immortal 281 and Harbhajan Singh's heroics helped Ganguly's men to thwart Steve Waugh's attempt to conquer 'the last frontier'. The Aussies though continued their dominance of both formats by clinching the 2003 world cup and not losing another test series for years. In 2005, in one of the finest series played, England overcame the Aussie juggernaut in a glorious contest. Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff emerged as the stand out performers in a series unlikely to ever be forgotten. Australia, still smarting after this defeat trounced England 5-0 in the next Ashes tour to re-affirm their status as the best. The retirement of Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne in January 2007 brought to an end one of the greatest bowling partnerships ever in cricket history. Australia led by Ricky Ponting lifted the World Cup for the 3rd consecutive time thus dispelling all doubts about their downfall. An exodus of greats after the acrimonious test series against India in 2008 left the mighty Aussies with an onerous task of rebuilding an empire which had dominated like no other. The India series saw the flexing of India's financial muscle when they made sure that one of the most respected umpires Steve Bucknor was not going to officiate in the Perth test after he had a shocking game at Sydney. Despite numerous decisions going against India in that game, the BCCI's threat of forfeiture and its blatant use of financial clout left a bad taste.
The Australians were now a much more beatable outfit and India and South Africa managed to beat them in 2008 thus making the top position a three horse race. The latter half of 2007 saw the first Twenty-20 world cup held in South Africa. It was a raging success and milling crowds meant that the format was here to stay. Allen Stanford's brash display of wealth and the quite ludicrous amounts involved in the revolutionary Indian Premier League (IPL) which started in the year 2008 made sure that the T-20 version even if hated could not be ignored. The franchises spent millions to get the best players and the quality of cricket was definitely on par with the best. The number of games being played though increased exponentially over the next year and became a huge cause of concern for many a player and board. In 2009, the ICC decided to trial the Umpire decision review system (UDRS) to aid the umpires and help eliminate possibility of errors. So far, it has had mixed reviews. Not every player is convinced that it is able to improve the quality of umpiring. I for one feel that the system, which is still not perfect has in fact tended to dent the confidence of the umpires and is having a more detrimental effect so far at least.
Having watched the game earnestly for almost 20 years now and also by virtue of being a keen student of its history, I have definitely come to believe that this decade does not rank highly in terms of the sheer quality of cricket. There have been fewer draws, more positive play, records galore and many superb performers but the one thing that's steadily gone missing is the 'contest within the contest'. The role of bowlers has undoubtedly been paramount in test cricket. Their role has always become more and more defensive in the shorter versions of the game and they are almost a non entity when it comes to T-20's. Placid and lifeless tracks have rendered quality bowlers impotent and at once eliminated the greatest and most loved aspect of test cricket i.e. the prospect of watching a top quality fast bowler or spinner on a helpful track against the best batsman. If we look back at this decade, the few games that can be recalled instantly as classics have had great bowlers operating on conducive surfaces up against quality batsmen. This produces riveting cricket and keeps spectators glued.
Just a look back at the previous decades and a few statistics and drive home the point here. The 1960's had legends like Sobers and Kanhai going up against Davidson and Benaud, Lawry and Simpson facing Hall and Griffith. The 1970's had the legendary pairing of Lillee and Thomson bowling to the mighty Viv Richards and Gordon Greenidge. The brilliant Sunil Gavaskar facing up to the top quality Caribbean pacemen, Ian Botham often fighting the Australians single handedly providing classic moments that are etched in memory ever since. The mention of the 1960-61 series, India v England 1971, the 'grovel' series of 1976, the centenary test in 1977, Botham's Ashes of 1981, the 'blackwashes' of 1984 and 1985 are enough for recollecting and replaying the amazing moments that have become part of folklore. Even the 1990's had the great Ambrose and Walsh going up against Steve Waugh, Mike Atherton doing battle and standing firm against the raw pace of Allan Donald, the metronomical Glenn McGrath pitting his wits against the genius of Brian Lara, the mouth watering Sachin Tendulkar vs Shane Warne contests and the sheer hoy of watching the supremely talents Pakistani legends Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis. Most of these greats had the ability to perform even when conditions were against them and on the occasions when the pitches were sportive, the contests were indeed ones to savour. The 1990's had just 3 batsmen scoring over 5000 runs and yet averaging over 50 while this decade has seen 13. The majority of top bowlers this decade average over 25 while the top bowlers of the last decade had averages in the low 20's. 400 plus scores in 50 overs, an insanely high number of 300 plus scores, 350 plus runs in a day in tests becoming a common occurrence, an extraordinarily high number of double hundreds by batsmen this decade and almost ever other stat shows that the scales have tilted heavily in favour of the bat.
Despite all the riches, the umpteen records and better rate of scoring, the very fact that the game's balance has tilted a lot in favour of the batsmen due to the sad state of pitches has reduced the quality of cricket. One can no longer sit up all night and watch with bated breath to see brilliant batsmen go up against the finest bowlers. It is more often an exercise in masochism nowadays for bowlers toiling away on most tracks and unless the situation is rectified soon enough, most cricket lovers will be left appreciating the game almost exclusively by virtue of the great memories that its glorious past has provided.
A brief overview of the major events of the decade will surely help put things in perspective. The year 2001 saw Brian Lara's unparalleled domination of the great Muttiah Muralitharan in an otherwise uneven contest between Sri Lanka and West Indies. The same year also saw India meet the world champion Australian team in a classic test series at home. VVS Laxman's immortal 281 and Harbhajan Singh's heroics helped Ganguly's men to thwart Steve Waugh's attempt to conquer 'the last frontier'. The Aussies though continued their dominance of both formats by clinching the 2003 world cup and not losing another test series for years. In 2005, in one of the finest series played, England overcame the Aussie juggernaut in a glorious contest. Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff emerged as the stand out performers in a series unlikely to ever be forgotten. Australia, still smarting after this defeat trounced England 5-0 in the next Ashes tour to re-affirm their status as the best. The retirement of Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne in January 2007 brought to an end one of the greatest bowling partnerships ever in cricket history. Australia led by Ricky Ponting lifted the World Cup for the 3rd consecutive time thus dispelling all doubts about their downfall. An exodus of greats after the acrimonious test series against India in 2008 left the mighty Aussies with an onerous task of rebuilding an empire which had dominated like no other. The India series saw the flexing of India's financial muscle when they made sure that one of the most respected umpires Steve Bucknor was not going to officiate in the Perth test after he had a shocking game at Sydney. Despite numerous decisions going against India in that game, the BCCI's threat of forfeiture and its blatant use of financial clout left a bad taste.
The Australians were now a much more beatable outfit and India and South Africa managed to beat them in 2008 thus making the top position a three horse race. The latter half of 2007 saw the first Twenty-20 world cup held in South Africa. It was a raging success and milling crowds meant that the format was here to stay. Allen Stanford's brash display of wealth and the quite ludicrous amounts involved in the revolutionary Indian Premier League (IPL) which started in the year 2008 made sure that the T-20 version even if hated could not be ignored. The franchises spent millions to get the best players and the quality of cricket was definitely on par with the best. The number of games being played though increased exponentially over the next year and became a huge cause of concern for many a player and board. In 2009, the ICC decided to trial the Umpire decision review system (UDRS) to aid the umpires and help eliminate possibility of errors. So far, it has had mixed reviews. Not every player is convinced that it is able to improve the quality of umpiring. I for one feel that the system, which is still not perfect has in fact tended to dent the confidence of the umpires and is having a more detrimental effect so far at least.
Having watched the game earnestly for almost 20 years now and also by virtue of being a keen student of its history, I have definitely come to believe that this decade does not rank highly in terms of the sheer quality of cricket. There have been fewer draws, more positive play, records galore and many superb performers but the one thing that's steadily gone missing is the 'contest within the contest'. The role of bowlers has undoubtedly been paramount in test cricket. Their role has always become more and more defensive in the shorter versions of the game and they are almost a non entity when it comes to T-20's. Placid and lifeless tracks have rendered quality bowlers impotent and at once eliminated the greatest and most loved aspect of test cricket i.e. the prospect of watching a top quality fast bowler or spinner on a helpful track against the best batsman. If we look back at this decade, the few games that can be recalled instantly as classics have had great bowlers operating on conducive surfaces up against quality batsmen. This produces riveting cricket and keeps spectators glued.
Just a look back at the previous decades and a few statistics and drive home the point here. The 1960's had legends like Sobers and Kanhai going up against Davidson and Benaud, Lawry and Simpson facing Hall and Griffith. The 1970's had the legendary pairing of Lillee and Thomson bowling to the mighty Viv Richards and Gordon Greenidge. The brilliant Sunil Gavaskar facing up to the top quality Caribbean pacemen, Ian Botham often fighting the Australians single handedly providing classic moments that are etched in memory ever since. The mention of the 1960-61 series, India v England 1971, the 'grovel' series of 1976, the centenary test in 1977, Botham's Ashes of 1981, the 'blackwashes' of 1984 and 1985 are enough for recollecting and replaying the amazing moments that have become part of folklore. Even the 1990's had the great Ambrose and Walsh going up against Steve Waugh, Mike Atherton doing battle and standing firm against the raw pace of Allan Donald, the metronomical Glenn McGrath pitting his wits against the genius of Brian Lara, the mouth watering Sachin Tendulkar vs Shane Warne contests and the sheer hoy of watching the supremely talents Pakistani legends Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis. Most of these greats had the ability to perform even when conditions were against them and on the occasions when the pitches were sportive, the contests were indeed ones to savour. The 1990's had just 3 batsmen scoring over 5000 runs and yet averaging over 50 while this decade has seen 13. The majority of top bowlers this decade average over 25 while the top bowlers of the last decade had averages in the low 20's. 400 plus scores in 50 overs, an insanely high number of 300 plus scores, 350 plus runs in a day in tests becoming a common occurrence, an extraordinarily high number of double hundreds by batsmen this decade and almost ever other stat shows that the scales have tilted heavily in favour of the bat.
Despite all the riches, the umpteen records and better rate of scoring, the very fact that the game's balance has tilted a lot in favour of the batsmen due to the sad state of pitches has reduced the quality of cricket. One can no longer sit up all night and watch with bated breath to see brilliant batsmen go up against the finest bowlers. It is more often an exercise in masochism nowadays for bowlers toiling away on most tracks and unless the situation is rectified soon enough, most cricket lovers will be left appreciating the game almost exclusively by virtue of the great memories that its glorious past has provided.
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